The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
