umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
