i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
