I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
