yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
