How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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