im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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