My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
