hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
