There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
