like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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