THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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