I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
