8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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