we're blogging at a bar
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
