I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
