Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize