It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
porn star boner night. come get it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
