How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
