how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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