I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
