I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
