Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
