I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
