you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the day after is always just damage control
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
