What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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