His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
