How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
