like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
