Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
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I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
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Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
be right there i have to get my cape
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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