Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
