Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
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I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
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Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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