Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
