I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize