is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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