He kissed a someone with a penis
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
