meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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