I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
