Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize