You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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