i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my being single is dangerous.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
