So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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