I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize