life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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