oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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