R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
