Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
