Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
