This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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