I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
