he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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