Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
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the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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