I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
