So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
