Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
