Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
