just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
