Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
