How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
