I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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