I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Panties = found
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