She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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