Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize